A recovering artist

 

a renewal of purpose & joy

I’m thankful in some odd way for my mis-guided professor who poured turpentine slowly over my reclining nude in all of her technical glory. He spoke to me through my tears and said, “If I wanted realism, I would simply take a photograph.”

Although this comment and violent act against my art and soul kept me from painting for years after graduation. This comment has continued to roll around in my mind. But now I consider it a blessing.

I started painting again in my late-thirties when I found myself so deep in depression and struggling to breathe. With each stroke of my brush I felt a renewal of purpose and a joy that didn’t even seem legal! It was an awkward dance at first, but then I felt compelled to write a prayer of sorts on the canvas before I began. I would put my fears and struggle with perfectionism right out there and then cover them over with beautiful color. This was my own little art therapy session. For the first time, I wanted to paint without worrying about the destination, who would like it OR where it might hang. I painted for the shear joy of bearing witness to what was taking place. And It was through my willingness to approach the canvas with childlike humility that I first began to hear a voice. No, not a crazy, somebody take me to the nearest hospital kind of voice. Rather, it was this calm inner strength that helped me pick up the brush, a reassuring presence that spoke truth to me when my old internal dialogue told me what a failure this was going to be. This voice urged me to follow the colors and rhythms I was craving and find my own artistic voice. This was the voice of my creator who had been waiting patiently for us to paint together.

This is how Create 2 Breathe was born.

This painting, Return to Eden, was the first of many paintings that has breathed new life into my spirit and joy into those that place them in their homes.